If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
