She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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