don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
