i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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