I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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