he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
