oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize