i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
