You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How does one acquire holy water?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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