I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
