also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
