Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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