My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
