some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
