so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
