why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
