Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
