Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
