Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
