we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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