I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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