Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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