No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize