HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I need water and some morals
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
