Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize