is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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