so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
