Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
