HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize