My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
