dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
