"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
