Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize