Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
