so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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