Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
