For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My liver just had a heart attack.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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