It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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