No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
