Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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