I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
