Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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