i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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