Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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