you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize