I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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