I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
