Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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