i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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