what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
