So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I deserve this hangover.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
