why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
