hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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