I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Send help, water and tortillas.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
