my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
