Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
