No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I yelled at your uterus for you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
