i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
