Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
