By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
