Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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