Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize