dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I could fuck to npr.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
